How To Get Divorced in Less Than a Month
Hey everyone, divorce and custody attorney Bobby Buchanan here in Chicago. I want to talk to you today about how you get divorced in one month flat from going saying yourself. Okay, that's it. I'm pulling the trigger. I'm doing this time to move on to it being final. So here's what I would say. If someone came to me and asked me how they actually get it done, where should your priorities be at? So the first thing that you need to consider is that the number one factor that prolongs a divorce is not the complexity of your financial situation is not how many children you have is not your, what kind of work you do. It's your emotions, it's your emotional response to the divorce process. It's how you feel about the other side. It's how you, um, the side, how important holding that divorce up is and not letting go of the marriage, how important that is to you versus pushing on through.
And it's always an emotional question. The divorces that last a long time come from people that are usually holding on to some sort of anger, fear, sadness, whatever it may be. A particular for you. If you want to get your divorce done, you have to be brutally pragmatic and you don't have to give away those feelings. You don't have to smush them down. You don't have to, you know, completely turn them off. But you have to compartmentalize them and, and make the decision, know what, I'm going to be practical here in order to get this divorce done. I'm not going to let that anger creep in and tell me to prolong things because I'm mad. So that's number one is you gotta get your emotions in check. You've got to understand them, got to understand how they're controlling you so that you can control them in a more practical manner.
Now this, the second thing you do is you get pragmatic and you look at what are the actual issues that are at play here. When you get divorced, there are things that have to be on tide. You have to untie the financial picture, uh, between you and the other person. So you have to decide who's keeping what, who's going to be responsible for what debt. Those are the major, you know, property questions. And then you have to figure out based on the case that you have, whether or not if you have kids, is there going to be child support involved? Um, and what the schedule is going to be between you and the other person. There's a whole kind of um, hierarchy of things that you have to figure out. So you are going to have to spend some time initially going through and mapping out every single issue, potential issue that you see that needs to be resolved.
Oh, you and your spouse have a car together. Well that's gonna have to be resolved somehow. So you put that down on a list. Oh you have some joint credit card debt that has to be resolved somehow. So you put it down on a list, list out every single potential issue that you, that there is that you guys are going to have to come to an agreement on. Cause at the end of the day, the only way to get a divorce in a month is to agree on everything. So once you've listed out all those issues, then you can start formulating in your mind and on paper what is the fair resolution here and that's where I would say you should start. Don't even think about, you know, what specifically the law might say in certain regards because I think inherently we all have an ability to look at our situation and say, here's what I think is fair and that's usually a pretty good starting place.
So map out what you think is fair, who takes what, who's responsible for what debt, what kind of parenting schedule is going to be good for you and the kids if you have kids and the good for the other side and just workable for everybody. What is the child support amount that's going to be fair. I will say the child support is one of those things that there's a little bit less wiggle room on and I'm going to make a video on setting child support in the agreed divorce. But for all intents and purposes right now you can just put down what you think is fair. Maybe your agreement with the other side is that you both just covered the expenses while you have the kids and that's what a lot of people do do. Um, so after you've looked at all those issues, map that all out and written down the potential agreement that you have, then that's when you have to sit down with your spouse and talk to them about whether or not they would agree to splitting things and dividing things up and taking responsibility the way that you propose.
And there might be some negotiation at this point they might say, Oh, I don't agree with this or I don't agree with that and this is where number one, the step number one, I set up control your emotions comes into play where you're going to have to make some decisions as to do I want to stick my heels in the ground or do I want to get divorced sooner rather than later? Considering that you want to get divorced in a month means that you probably are going to have to make some concessions here because for you, the most important thing or one of the more important things is getting this done. And in order to get it done, you might have to concede some things. It might cost you a little bit more in the short term or the long term in order to get it done.
But make a pragmatic decision about, you know, for a lot of people it's just about getting to the next chapter and moving on. I know that, uh, one I'm, I'm never going to get divorced. I know it's kind of naive to say that it, me being a divorce attorney, but that's just the way I feel in my heart is that I'll never get divorced. But let's say in a nother universe verse, I did get divorced and another reality, uh, how would I be? You know what, honestly, I would just want to get it over. I wouldn't want to fight with my ex about, um, you know, I wouldn't want to nickel and dime them. I would just want to say, you know, it's important to emotionally move forward here and get on to the next chapter. And in order to do that I'm willing to make some concessions and just get this over with rather than Duke this out in court.
And I think that's what a lot of you want to do is just figure out how you can move on as quickly as possible. So make those negotiations with your spouse, make those concessions, try to find that middle ground. And once you have that all done, then you have to draft up the official court documents, the official court documents, you can do those on your own. There's a number of DIY services where you can try to figure that out on your own. There are even free forms online to do it on your own. The trouble with doing it completely on your own is that you don't know whether or not you are making some critical air that your intentions aren't going to actually be be memorialized by the court. So it can be a little bit scary. It's kinda kinda like navigating open waters without, with just a compass and not knowing entirely how to use that compass and you could get lost and it, it could have different, it could have different detrimental effects.
Uh, so that's the one thing to work out, look out for. The other way is to find a flat fee divorce service that can just draft up your documents. If you've done all the legwork in the beginning and you find the right service, you should be able to get it done very quickly, uh, and for not too much money. And you'll have the peace of mind of knowing that it's had an attorney review it and that you haven't made any critical errors. So decide whether or not you're going to do a DIY or hire a flat fee divorced service to do it. And once those documents are drafted, you've already had the discussion and negotiation with your spouse. So there shouldn't be much resistance to signing off on the documents at that point. Once they're signed off on, then you can go ahead and schedule your final court date or have a, the service that you've hired, schedule the court date and that court date should be scheduled based on the court's calendar.
It's usually within a week or two weeks that you get it scheduled and that is your final court date. As long as you have properly drawn up the paperwork and submitted the paperwork and submitted the paperwork to the other side in the proper manner. Once you show up to that final court date, as long as the judge approves everything, you will be divorced. And that whole process, if you have controlled your emotions and conceded where you need to concede, and Ben brutally pragmatic, shouldn't take more than three or four weeks if you're really on top of your game, good luck.